Thursday, January 21, 2010

Recurring Dream

I came across a string of convos in my schoolmate's page. They were talking about medical terms and all. Without thinking about medicine, I am happy with what I am pursuing (which is Communication Research) but when i think hard, dang, some part of me still hasn't given up on that childhood dream about being a doctor.

Consider this, almost all the close chums I got, I convince to pursue medicine. Then they pleasantly throw back the question to me, "how about you nina? why don't you pursue medicine?" When I get down to the reason why I never got around to doing what I really wanted, and God knows how much I want it, the only reason I can think of is that I wasn't brave enough to take the challenge. Some friends say I am smart. Superficially, I am 'cause I study in a university that has high academic qualifications for its students. Speaking for myself, I doubt if I got enough brains for med.

For someone who hates hospitals and hyperventilates at the sight of blood, to dream about BEING a doctor must remain dreaming. But for me, it's really something I can see myself doing.

Over the years that I've studied communication theories, research process, etc, I've done a pretty good job with my grades and was even strangely passionate in applying what's learned in real life. The problem only comes when I am reminded of THAT dream. It's hard enough that I am reminded of it everyday of my life. Thanks to my best friends who are both going to be doctors; Charmayne Zilmar and Junfelle Love Pilapil.

Now I don't know what to do anymore. College is planned, but after college is still hazy. Sure I get a degree. Get a job in a marketing or ad or any corporate firm.

Will this nagging desire stay that long?