Friday, April 13, 2012

Letters to X: Real Love


I would like to think what we had was real. I would have liked to hold on to it, to you, but we can't keep on dancing the same rhythm over and over again.

I kept on talking about how I must stop this (I've been talking about 'stopping' this for three years now). And I think this is the perfect time. There will be times when I would be reduced to tears again. The memory of you and the prospect of being able to be with you will always leave me wistful.

When I heard the song Real Love while I was riding on a train to take me to a museum, I kept on thinking about how our wedding would be like. How the song could probably be a perfect wedding song for us. But I'm only 20, so it's really idiotic to think about weddings when I still have a career to plan.

This is me thinking to myself. Again. Seems like the only thing left for me to do was think. Unlike other people, we never really had anything tangible exchanged. We only have memories. Too bad I can't put them in a barrel and set them on fire to burn.

The song didn't really have much lyrics except that it kept on insisting that it's real love. It's real love. It's the same thing with us, ironically. Every time I think about you, I think of love. OR at least that's what I'm thinking now. Will there ever be someone who would love me as much as I have loved you?

Was our love real? Even if it was, i know deep inside me we can never be.

Yes, it's real love. Idiot.