Unruly Cards

In a recent field trip to Bolinao, I had asked a classmate to read the cards for me. He mentioned that he has the ability so I was curious as to how it works. Personally, I avoid having my fortune told since it scares me more than it excites. I know of people who are very cooperative when it comes to those things saying that having a glimpse of what the future brings provide hope that things will change for the better or if not, it will help them plan what they are going to do to somehow soften the blow.

Using regular cards (the one used in playing black jack, etc.) he asked me to count the number of letters comprising the pet name I have for the person that I like. I gave him the number. He then asked me to shuffle the cards the same number of times as the letters to this particular person's pet name. With that, he did his thing and was able to reduce the cards leaving me with more or less five to six cards. The cards left were the king and the queen who's supposed to stand for he and I respectively. The other cards were two hearts (black and red) and some other cards with numbers.

According to the reading (he analyzed it based on the position of the cards), the guy and I know each other very well and seem to agree on a couple of things, since the king and queen are facing each other. He then looked at the position of the hearts and told me that although I know how I feel for this person, I still can't figure out yet how to really feel about the whole thing. As for this particular person, my classmate/card reader said that he has his back turned away from my heart which is another way of saying that he doesn't like me the way that I do.

Being bothered by a set of cards is not rational. I've been schooled and taught to believe that I am in-charge of my life and not some other force. What happened to the cards were arbitrary, that much I know. What is so frustrating is the fact that these things are supposed to support any daydream and act as cheerleader. I mean, I want to have the cards read in a way that affirms any delusion that I have of he and I being together. Instead of that, I get my hopes crushed by telling me what I already know but refuse to acknowledge - there's no us, just he and I, separated by spaces.