Friday, March 16, 2012


Pie chart is taken from Science of Relationships
Traipsing through invisible lines in an effort to keep people is a dangerous game to play. Most of the time, being firm and clear with what we want is better. It could hurt in the beginning but it has its rewards in the end.

I am talking about being friends with benefits with anyone. That status is endlessly fascinating for its literary beauty. Talking about repressing emotions and jumping in bed with each other sure sounds good when masterfully transformed into a series of metaphors and rhymes. In real life, it could cause distress. 

Wanting to have it simple, stable, and peaceful is not that bad. No strings attached could be tempting in a way that you're given the chance to mess with the one you're attracted to. Whatever one hopes to get from that; physical satisfaction or that one chance to be with that person is something that needs to be given serious thought. 

Agreeing to the friends with benefits status could either be courageous or thoughtless. Courageous in a sense that how it turns out was carefully weighed against the pros of being with that person. Thoughtless as the decision may just have been a result of too much alcohol or the proclivity to seek warmth. Whatever the motivations are, there are clear pitfalls in being friends with benefits.

In as much as courage is needed to agree to such status, the same courage to say no to it (no matter how tempting) is admirable. It could hurt for a while or could make us bang our head on soft walls for the sexual frustration or regret but it may prove to be wise in the end. 

However it is decided on, whether to go through it or say no to it is really just up to us. Is the initial fun and many orgasmic moments obtained from it better than solitary nights at home feeding stray cats? Would it be worth it to make oneself vulnerable to pain and jealousy despite the very nature of the relationship technically disallowing us to be?

Regardless, being aware of what we need and being firm to stand by that (no matter the consequences), whatever the choice is, is the only way to decide.